


Closure

by rangerofdiscord



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Gen, Spoilers, post-season 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 18:34:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5059636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rangerofdiscord/pseuds/rangerofdiscord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After fragmenting himself, Epsilon left messages for other people so that they could understand why he did what he did. After the battle with Hargrove, Carolina sits down to listen to her message. Written because I'm a salty person who dislikes when major things like this are left out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closure

“So many people have left your life without saying goodbye.” The message starts out, the tiny cobalt blue hologram in her hands flickering a bit as it looks up at her. How could it know to do that? Maybe it was Delta, doing his best to help her through this. Or maybe he just _knew,_ just knew that she would hold his hologram in her hands as the message is relayed back to her. 

"Your mother, York, hell even your father didn't really say anything.” It's strange, how after so long, hearing their names still makes her eyes sting with tears. “I know that if you don't say goodbye, you're not really gone but.. Carolina. I want you to have closure. I don't want you to cling to some tiny hope that I can come back. I'm going for good this time.”

The hologram flickers again, turning purple for a brief second and her breath hitches ever so slightly. A wave of panic rushes through her, fear of the message ending abruptly, fear of what she knew he would say. “Hopefully by now you know what happened to me. I deconstructed myself. Fragmented myself.” Church looks away from her, and Carolina can  _just_ picture the look he'd have on his face if he'd have one. “I'll save you the whole spiel about why I need to do this. Just know.. It wasn't just for them. It was for you. For Wash.”

“When I first met you, Carolina, I fucking hated you.” His words send another flash of horror, of disgust through her body. Her muscles tense up, and a hand reaches down to try and comfort her. It's ungloved, rough and callous. Perhaps Wash or Tucker's. “You tore me from the unit when I was at peace, wouldn't tell me anything. I was afraid of you, and I hated you.”

“But then I realized that you weren't the bloodthirsty, psychotic merc you pretended to be. I mean, you were bloodthirsty but you had good reason. I realized that.. That you and I weren't all that different, after all.” He looks back up at Carolina, and if he could smile she knew he would be.“We shared so many memories, so many experiences. You became more than just the chick who dragged me out of my memory unit. You became my sister. My family.”

“I wouldn't leave you if I didn't know you could do this, Carolina. You can move past this. Past me. You're strong, stronger than you think you are.” Somewhere out in the camp, people are setting off fireworks. Celebrating. She flinches, and her hand moves through the tiny hologram. A figure, half in armor, half out of it, moves to the doorway to make sure the fireworks don't get too close. A man sits next to her, an arm around her shoulder. She stays tense, staring unblinkingly at Church. Taking in every word, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe what he says will calm her down. Will keep the panic attack growing in her core from taking over.

Her hands start to tremble, and someone tries to hold them. “Like I said, Lina..” There it was, that nickname that so few people used. She bites her lip, and can't help but lean into the person next to her. “This isn't just for them. This is for you, as well. Your entire life, you've known nothing but war and loss. Your mother, Project Freelancer, this war..” Church sighs, shaking his head.

“It's time you rest. Time you take a break. Make a new, better life for yourself. Fall in love. Live on the coast, like you always wanted when you were a kid. Move past the fear, the anxiety that holds you back. Be happy.” The hologram starts to flicker, purples and greens mixing in with the comforting cobalt blue. The same shade of blue that so often calmed her, relaxed her and helped her sleep.

The new colors were disruptive, distracting. They took away from him.

"I'm out of time, Carolina. There's so much more I want to say, but..” His voice sounds almost distressed, sounds weary and sad. “There's just one thing left to say.”

“No.” It's the first thing she's said since Delta began playing the message, and it's so loud, so desperate. “Don't.” Really, she knows he can't hear her but she has to try. Has to hope.

“I know you don't want to hear it. But you need to.” His helmet turns up to look at her, and the tears begin falling freely out of her eyes. A strangled, choked out cry escapes from her and if it weren't for the tiny cobalt hologram in her hands she'd wrap her arms tightly around her chest. Anything to keep it together.

“Goodbye, Carolina.”

 


End file.
